Father Absence--
The Impact
By: Nina Chen, Ph.D., Human Development
Specialist,
Jackson County University Outreach &
Extension Center
A study conducted by Michael Lamb of the
University of Michigan found that children (7 to 13-month-old) had
similar reactions to separation from their parents. For
instance, when their father left, the children
would cry or complain just like when their mother left. Other
research results indicate that children seven months to two years are attached
to their parents. This finding reconfirms the importance of
both parents to their children’s early
stage development. Fathering cannot be ignored because fathers play an
important role in helping their children grow.
Research findings consistently reveal that
warm and affectionate fathers not only can help their
children develop positive self-esteem, but also influence the development
of their children’s gender role behavior. Fathers are
significant for both boys and girls. For instance, boys can learn from
their fathers about growing up as a male, male interests, activities,
and social behavior.
Girls can learn from their fathers
to develop a trusting comfortable relationship
with men. Loving fathers also have a positive influence on achievement
in boys and personal adjustment in girls. Loving fathers who provide limit
setting, moral reasoning, and reasonable and firm guidance without
imposing their will can help promote their
children’s competence. Research on father-child
involvement also shows that fathers are significant for children, sensitive
to children and fathers’ play with children is different from mothers’.
Obviously, fathers are just as important to their children as mothers.
There are some negative
impacts on children when they experience
nonexistence or infrequent contact with a parent (usually the father).
Research finds that the majority of children miss their
fathers very much. Young children usually grieve the
divorced father as if he had died. The permanent separation or father’s
absence may lead to prolonged grief. In addition, father absence can
have a negative effect on both boys and girl’s social
behavior. Research findings show that children who experienced father
absence were likely to have behavior problems and didn’t do well
in school, particularly in math and science.
Clearly, research results have
proved the importance of a father role for
children to grow. If you have not been involved much in your child’s life,
start now to spend quality time with your child. For a divorced and non-residential
father, it is very important to keep regular contacts
and spend quality time with children. Mothers also need
to provide support and encouragement to help build the bond between a child
and a father.
If you only see your children on weekends,
try to use the valuable time to be with your children. Taking a walk, working
on the yard and household chores together, running errands, talking, and
sharing can help your children learn a lot from you. This can be the best
time for your children because most children would like to hang around
with their fathers and this can be a good memory for them when they grow
up.
Through my teachings, I have heard positive
comments from divorced fathers who said repeatedly, that they have spent
more quality time with their children and have exercised their parenting
role more since separation or divorce. Some fathers felt that they had
a closer relationship with their children after the divorce. No doubt,
divorced fathers can still play an important role to help their children
grow as long as they have regular contacts, practical guidance and a positive
role model.
Finally, if there is no father around,
you
may try to have someone who can provide a positive role model, such as
your brother, father, or grandfather as a male presence in your child’s
life. After school programs, boys and girls clubs, and youth programs can
be good sources for your children. Reading books about male heroes who
are kind and nurturing also can help.
References:
Arbuthnot, J. & Gordon, D. (1996).
What about the children: A guide for divorced and divorcing parents. The
Center for Divorced Education. Lamb, M. (1981). The role of the father
in child development. New York: John Wiley.
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