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 SUCCESS
STORIES
MARLON:
When 10 year old father-absent Marlon
came to our program, he was described by referring sources (school and
single mother) as being undisciplined, unruly, impulsive and generally
unaccustomed to following rules.
We were also told that he couldn’t sit
still, and was rebellious and defiant. Additionally, his grades
plummeted and his stressed-out mother was at her wits end after having
visited her son’s school 25 times at the beginning of the semester due
to what was described as Marlon’s disruptive behavior.
Whereas his referrers were doubtful
about Marlon’s capacity for change, at IROP we knew based on our
commitment and experience, that if we were able to engage Marlon in a
meaningful way (by allowing him to be exposed to our “average expectable
environment” that’s mutually frustrating and gratifying enough to
stimulate growth) he’d be able to achieve age appropriate behavioral and
academic goals.
By the beginning of his second semester
in IROP, Marlon made a good adjustment. He decided on improving good
grades as well as improving his behavior at home and in school. He was
also determined and willing to allow himself to be disciplined as a way
of successfully accomplishing his goals. At the end of the school year,
Marlon excelled in school. As a result, not only was he awarded for
academic and behavioral improvement by his school; he also received a
citation from Brooklyn Borough President for behavioral and academic
excellence.
“The Rites of passage program’
exclaimed Marlon, “has taught me the value of self-discipline, as
reflected in my ability to respect myself and others; my capacity to
strive for excellence, not excuses; and my ability to respond not
react.” It was Marlon’s choice to allow the program structure to help
him to become self-controlled and responsible. Our Rites of passage
program is a proven way in which children can be helped to be put on the
right path if they will but allow themselves to be helped.
ROBERT:
Ten year old Robert spent two semesters in IROP program. He came to
IROP for “acting out” behavior and plummeting grades in school.
Robert’s behaviors were normal reactions his parent’s separation. In
our work with Robert, we were able to help his mother reconnect with his
father who resided in New Jersey. Thereafter, Robert spent two weeks
with his father during the summer of 2007. In addition, he began
spending weekends with his father.
From the time Robert reengaged with his
father, his behavior was markedly improved, he regained social
confidence and his school grades improved. Robert graduated from
elementary school this semester with honors and additionally received
two awards; one for ball-room dancing; the other for excellence in
mathematics. Through individual counseling Robert also developed the
confidence and competence required for survival in middle school.
Roberts mother entered counseling to enable
her to cope with changes in her family system. His father is in the
process of moving back to Brooklyn where he could be readily available
to his son. Robert’s parents offer us a sterling example of how
divorced and separated parents may work together in the interest of
their children. Kudos to Robert’s parents for modeling an approach
which separated parents may use to meet the needs of their children.
Despite their separation, they were able to find common grounds for
working together in the best interest of their child.
MIKHEL:
Mikhel’s parents were newly divorced when he entered our rites of
passage program. He was severely affected by the separation. This was
manifested in social withdrawal, a drop in school grades, conflict with
his younger sibling and general irritabilities. After spending forty
weeks in our rites of passage program, bolstered by individual
counseling sessions, Mikhel’s grades and behavior improved to the
amazement of his mother and school teachers. In her public declaration
at his graduation, she gave a litany of improvements she noticed in
him. She also indicated that “ Mikhel’s achievement in IROP program is
beyond what I expected.”
AARON:
Aaron was very respectful. However, at his initiation into Imani Rites
of Passage he was unable to conceal his resistance to being in the
program and indicated several times during check-in or sharing time that
“I am only attending the program because my mother insists on me being
here.” His resistance was evidenced in silence, struggle to participate
in many group activities, unwillingness to eat snacks and is immediate
retreat to his home after group sessions without participating in the
usual socializing ritual of his peers.
On the third week of the program, Aaron went
on a mandatory weekend trip in the prestigious Sunterra Resort in
Virginia (see photo gallery) where he participated in indoor and outdoor
activities in addition to intensive training. The following week when
Aaron returned to the Brooklyn rites of passage setting, it was quite
noticeable that his attitude and persona had changed radically. He
demonstrated improved social skills which enabled him to make friends,
fellowship and play with his peers, as well as the partaking of snacks
without nudging. Aaron’s experience is a classic example of how life
skills deficits in children and young people may be remedied through IROP. |
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