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Rites of Passage
Success Stories
MARLON: When 10 year old
father-absent Marlon came to our program, he was described by
referring sources (school and single mother) as being undisciplined,
unruly, impulsive and generally unaccustomed to following rules.
We were also told that he couldn’t
sit still, and was rebellious and defiant. Additionally, his grades
plummeted and his stressed-out mother was at her wits end after
having visited her son’s school 25 times at the beginning of the
semester due to what was described as Marlon’s disruptive behavior.
Whereas his referrers were doubtful about Marlon’s capacity for
change, at IROP we knew based on our commitment and experience, that
if we were able to engage Marlon in a meaningful way (by allowing
him to be exposed to our “average expectable environment” that’s
mutually frustrating and gratifying enough to stimulate growth) he’d
be able to achieve age appropriate behavioral and academic goals.
By the beginning of his second semester in IROP, Marlon made a good
adjustment. He decided on improving good grades as well as improving
his behavior at home and in school. He was also determined and
willing to allow himself to be disciplined as a way of successfully
accomplishing his goals. At the end of the school year, Marlon
excelled in school. As a result, not only was he awarded for
academic and behavioral improvement by his school; he also received
a citation from Brooklyn Borough President for behavioral and
academic excellence.
“The Rites of passage program’
exclaimed Marlon, “has taught me the value of self-discipline, as
reflected in my ability to respect myself and others; my capacity to
strive for excellence, not excuses; and my ability to respond not
react.” It was Marlon’s choice to allow the program structure to
help him to become self-controlled and responsible. Our Rites of
passage program is a proven way in which children can be helped to
be put on the right path if they will but allow themselves to be
helped.
ROBERT: Ten year old Robert spent two
semesters in IROP program. He came to IROP for “acting out” behavior
and plummeting grades in school. Robert’s behaviors were normal
reactions his parent’s separation. In our work with Robert, we were
able to help his mother reconnect with his father who resided in New
Jersey. Thereafter, Robert spent two weeks with his father during
the summer of 2007. In addition, he began spending weekends with his
father.
From the time Robert reengaged with his father, his behavior was
markedly improved, he regained social confidence and his school
grades improved. Robert graduated from elementary school this
semester with honors and additionally received two awards; one for
ball-room dancing; the other for excellence in mathematics. Through
individual counseling Robert also developed the confidence and
competence required for survival in middle school.
Roberts' mother entered counseling to
enable her to cope with changes in her family system. His father is
in the process of moving back to Brooklyn where he could be readily
available to his son. Robert’s parents offer us a sterling example
of how divorced and separated parents may work together in the
interest of their children. Kudos to Robert’s parents for modeling
an approach which separated parents may use to meet the needs of
their children. Despite their separation, they were able to find
common grounds for working together in the best interest of their
child.
MIKHEL: Mikhel’s parents were newly
divorced when he entered our rites of passage program. He was
severely affected by the separation. This was manifested in social
withdrawal, a drop in school grades, conflict with his younger
sibling and general irritabilities. After spending forty weeks in
our rites of passage program, bolstered by individual counseling
sessions, Mikhel’s grades and behavior improved to the amazement of
his mother and school teachers. In her public declaration at his
graduation, she gave a litany of improvements she noticed in him.
She also indicated that “ Mikhel’s achievement in IROP program is
beyond what I expected.”
AARON: Aaron was very respectful.
However, at his initiation into Imani Rites of Passage he was unable
to conceal his resistance to being in the program and indicated
several times during check-in or sharing time that “I am only
attending the program because my mother insists on me being here.”
His resistance was evidenced in silence, struggle to participate in
many group activities, unwillingness to eat snacks and is immediate
retreat to his home after group sessions without participating in
the usual socializing ritual of his peers.
On the third week of the program, Aaron went on a mandatory weekend
trip in the prestigious Sunterra Resort in Virginia (see photo
gallery) where he participated in indoor and outdoor activities in
addition to intensive training. The following week when Aaron
returned to the Brooklyn rites of passage setting, it was quite
noticeable that his attitude and persona had changed radically. He
demonstrated improved social skills which enabled him to make
friends, fellowship and play with his peers, as well as the
partaking of snacks without nudging. Aaron’s experience is a classic
example of how life skills deficits in children and young people may
be remedied through IROP.
